Your Weekly Soul Pause
A few moments each week to return to your Spiritual Heart, nourish your Soul Cup, and let your Inner Sparkle shine.
Hello Beautiful Soul,
I’ve been thinking a lot about expectations lately.
The expectations other people have of me. The expectations I have of myself. And the expectations we, as women, have picked up somewhere along the way without ever stopping to ask whether they actually belong to us.
I’ve become aware of some of these expectations in my own life recently. Things I think others expect from me. Ways I think I should be showing up in my relationships and career. Things I think I should have figured out by now.
And I’ve started asking myself:
Where did all these expectations come from?
Some of them are easy to recognize. Family may have expressed ideas about what they think I should or shouldn’t do. I feel pressured by society into believing what a successful life should look like. The media paints a picture of what a happy marriage should be. Motherhood in my 20’s and again in my 40s came with so many expectations, both my own and those influenced by others. And my careers, over the years, each came with their own set of expectations, depending on the industry.
Even aging has come with expectations about what women should or shouldn’t be doing at a certain age.
But I discovered that some expectations are harder to recognize because I’ve carried them for so long.
I recall colleagues saying things like, “Suck it up”. “Fake it till you make it.” “Don’t let anyone see you struggle.” “You have to do more if you want to be more.”
And then there are the expectations I placed on myself as a mother and a wife.
I have to take care of everyone else first. I can’t let anyone down. I have to keep going even if I’m exhausted. I’ve got to have it all figured out.
As I write these words down, I can feel myself getting angry that I allowed myself to believe these expectations were true for me. But then I realized something.
Getting angry with myself for carrying these expectations only gives me one more reason to make myself wrong and create another cobweb.
Instead, maybe I need to STOP and ask myself:
Does this still fit the woman I am today?
Maybe that’s one of the gifts of being in midlife. We get to ask ourselves what it is for us now, not what was true for us in our 30s, 40s, or even 50s.
I don’t think that means I toss aside every responsibility or expectation in my life. Some matter deeply to me. Some reflect my values, commitments, and the person God created me to be.
But others?
Maybe I’ve just been carrying them for a very long time.
And perhaps they’re another kind of cobweb. Not because they’re necessarily bad, but because I haven’t looked at them in a while.
So it’s time to take a look and ask:
What would my life feel like if I became more intentional about which expectations I choose to carry?
What if, instead of automatically asking:
What should I be doing?
I pause and ask:
What feels true for me in this season of my life?
What is my heart and soul asking of me now?
What is God asking me to pay attention to?
Those questions feel aligned with who I am today in this season of life.
They bring me back to my Spiritual Heart rather than sending me outside myself to look for another person’s definition of how my life should look.
I’m discovering that the quieter I become, the easier it is to hear which expectations feel aligned with who I am today and which ones I may be ready to let go of.
Maybe part of clearing the cobwebs is simply looking at what I’ve been carrying and asking:
Is this actually mine?
✨ Reflection
Take a few moments to think about the expectations you’re carrying right now.
The expectations around your relationships. Your family. Your career or work. Your appearance. Your age. Your responsibilities. Your dreams. Your next chapter. And even what you believe you should be doing with this season of your life.
Choose one and ask yourself:
Where did this expectation come from?
Is it truly mine?
Does it still fit the woman I am today?
Or am I carrying it simply because I’ve carried it for so long?
Notice what comes up without judging it.
💜 Heartfelt Invitation
This week, listen for the word should.
I should be doing more. I should have this figured out. I should say yes. I should be further along.
When you hear it, pause.
You don’t have to change anything immediately. Just become curious.
Whose expectation is this?
Then return to your Spiritual Heart and listen.
Perhaps underneath all those shoulds is a quieter voice reminding you of what matters to you now.
I’m listening for it too.
✨ Soul Pause Blessing
May this week’s Soul Pause help you recognize the expectations you’ve carried along the way.
May God give you wisdom to know which ones still belong in your life and which ones you’re ready to release.
May you hear more clearly the wisdom of your own heart and soul.
And may you feel the freedom to live more fully as the woman God created you to be.
With a grateful heart,
Bobbi 💜
Founder & CEO of Heart & Soul Publishing
You matter. Keep shining your Inner Sparkle. The world needs your light.